Your face is a jimmy john
You can't motorboat a personality
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
