i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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