3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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