i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
