She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
