Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
