I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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