I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
