And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
