Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The air taste purple.
Randomize
