If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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