trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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