Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize