He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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