I heard we made out
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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