If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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