Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
