no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
