The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
