Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
