the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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