some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
