his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
