But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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