Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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