Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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