i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
