There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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