he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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