Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We are all done wearing pants today
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
