Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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