Just fell off a train. Bad.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
