if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
