worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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