I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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