I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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