I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
