Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
