there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
