Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
