I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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