I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
