Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.