BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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