Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.

(248): View more from Michigan

hah, sarcasm, classic

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(212): Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning. (248): hah, sarcasm, classic http://tfl.nu/x41v

Replies (10) Good night (2598) Bad night (1049)
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(620): View more from Kansas

my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

(785): View more from Kansas

you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

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(620): my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!" (785): you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me? http://tfl.nu/e8og

Replies (37) Good night (1038) Bad night (3829)
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(210): View more from Texas

My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.

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(210): My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night. http://tfl.nu/m0j2

Replies (61) Good night (3270) Bad night (1361)
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(805): View more from California

IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!

(818): View more from California

A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?

(805): View more from California

CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT

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(805): IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT! (818): A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie? (805): CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT http://tfl.nu/znee

Replies (21) Good night (5575) Bad night (1028)
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(515): View more from Iowa

brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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(515): brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people http://tfl.nu/wdd8

Replies (43) Good night (997) Bad night (4789)
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(801): View more from Utah

we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha

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(801): we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha http://tfl.nu/k58e

Replies (20) Good night (7378) Bad night (1004)
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(760): View more from California

Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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(760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd

Replies (24) Good night (1393) Bad night (4331)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...

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(715): I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life... http://tfl.nu/7li7

Replies (6) Good night (1494) Bad night (1310)
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(716): View more from New York

Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.

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(716): Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests. http://tfl.nu/12h2

Replies (11) Good night (2865) Bad night (1031)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

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(973): Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride http://tfl.nu/vufa

Replies (23) Good night (5332) Bad night (1441)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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(952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09

Replies (12) Good night (1414) Bad night (610)
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(850): View more from Florida

Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.

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(850): Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made. http://tfl.nu/7051

Replies (5) Good night (1956) Bad night (613)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.

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(609): I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE. http://tfl.nu/xv21

Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (570)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...

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(412): Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion... http://tfl.nu/ll4v

Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (636)
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(355): View more from

He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat

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(355): He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat http://tfl.nu/brov

Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (469)

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