You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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