I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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