Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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