I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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