this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
