i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
