sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
