Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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