That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
