I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
