I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
