Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
