living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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