And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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