ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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