weddingsv make me drug and hornr
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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