We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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