We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
