go do what you do best...puke behind churches
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize